


wild and fluorescent (come home to my heart)

by erce3



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 22:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11262501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erce3/pseuds/erce3
Summary: “I’m in love with Supergirl,” says Lena, putting her head onto the table. “God, and I don’t even know who she really is, and I don’t care. I know it’s foolish of me, but I don’t love her secret identity, I love Supergirl.”Kara’s mug does shatter this time.(aka, in which lena is dating supergirl but not kara)





	wild and fluorescent (come home to my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> this really deserves to be longer but i kinda wanted to get the idea out of my head tbh so

****Supergirl comes in one night, tired and clumsy. Lena hears her land on her balcony, which is how she knows Supergirl is exhausted–presumably from fighting some alien or another–and straightens her back.

 

Lena’s been researching since Kara left at three in the afternoon and when she checks the clock with tired eyes, it takes a moment for it to sink in that it’s three in the morning. She hasn’t even eaten.

 

“Hi,” says Supergirl softly, walking slowly, shyly, into Lena’s office.

 

Sometimes, Supergirl reminds Lena of Kara, but it’s moments like these–soft, late at night ones that have become increasingly common–that Lena feels that there’s a stark difference between the two. Kara is like a puppy, warm and happy, inside and out. Supergirl always, just under the surface, seems sad.

 

Lena can never place why she sees sadness in Supergirl’s bright expressions, but she does. Maybe it comes from her own loneliness and role in the spotlight; it takes a lonely person to know another, she muses.

 

Supergirl footsteps echo in the room, and when Lena looks up, Supergirl’s in front of her desk. Lena always leaves her balcony door open at this point, just in case Supergirl comes.

 

Supergirl leans over the desk to read Lena’s papers and frowns.

 

Here’s another difference between Kara and Supergirl that has made Lena certain they’re different. She’d tried for a long time to uncover Supergirl’s identity, certain it was Kara, but now all Lena can see is their differences. Supergirl is as smart as she is, maybe smarter–she understands the science Lena researches, speaks several languages, and maybe other things Lena doesn’t know about.

 

Supergirl, despite her loneliness, seems content to be.

 

This is an unknown expression on Kara, and this is how Lena knows, despite conspiracies, despite her own wishes, that they’re not the same person.

 

Supergirl leans a little closer so that Lena can feel her breath on Lena’s hand and Lena’s mind goes blank.

 

“I forgot to eat,” she says stupidly, suddenly enraptured by the way Supergirl’s mouth opens slightly in concentration.

 

“You would,” says Supergirl, amused. “Are you hungry?”

 

Lena thinks about it–thinks about saying yes and dragging Supergirl to a coffee shop, late at night, maybe one in the alien part of town and pretending, for a moment, it’s a date. She imagines leaning forward and kissing Supergirl, even though they barely know each other.

 

Even though Supergirl is barely a friend.

 

She banishes the thought and sighs. “Not really,” she says. “It’s late, you should sleep.”

  
Supergirl shrugs. “I don’t need to sleep that much,” she responds. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You usually do this.”

 

“You sound just like Kara,” Lena says, laughing. “My personal superhero.” She doesn’t ask, _who would you save, me or the city, if you had the choice?_ She doesn’t ask about the way Supergirl flinches whenever Lena says Kara’s name, either.

 

Lena hopes it’s jealousy, but she isn’t quite sure what expression flutters over Supergirl’s face.

 

Supergirl pauses. “Are you sure you don’t want me to get you food? I can order, come back, and then go get it, if you want.”

 

Lena shakes her head. “I’m not hungry,” she says firmly. “Tell me about what you did tonight.”

 

“The usual,” says Supergirl, but the exhaustion behind her eyes tells Lena it’s unusual. “An alien. She was able to change form, and um, I guess she knew my mother.”

 

Lena’s mouth forms a small ‘o’. “Oh, Supergirl, I’m so sorry,” she says, and Supergirl sighs.

 

“All in a day’s work,” she says cheerily, though Lena can see her hurt.

 

“Can I do anything to make you feel better?” asks Lena, and Supergirl smiles a tiny smile that makes Lena’s heart clench.

 

Lena wishes she had chosen anyone, _anyone,_ to fall in love with but Supergirl. Perhaps it’s their similarities, their families and loneliness or maybe it’s the way Supergirl keeps coming back for Lena that’s just too much.

 

Lena loves Kara, but sometimes she worries Kara doesn’t truly understand her.

 

“You already have,” says Supergirl after a pause, and Lena takes Supergirl’s hand in her own, surprising both of them. As Supergirl scans Lena’s face, Lena rises to move around her desk and step closer to Supergirl.

 

Supergirl steps a little closer as well. She’s close enough that Lena could kiss her; she almost has, time and time again. “You know,” says Supergirl, “I’m supposed to be brave.”

 

“You are brave,” Lena says, voice breathy. She wants to pull her hands through Supergirl’s hair and tug her closer. She wants to kiss her so badly she can’t breathe.

 

Supergirl’s laugh is quiet and sad and Lena steps a fraction of an inch closer, just to see how Supergirl will respond. Supergirl barely does; she just looks at Lena’s face with soft concern and a longing that seems far too familiar for Lena’s comfort.

 

Lena’s barely able to breathe and she’s so enraptured by the scar above Supergirl’s left eyebrow (how did she manage to get that, she wonders, since she’s impervious to _bullets_ ), the length of her lashes, the curves of her lips that she gives into desire and surges forward.

 

To her surprise, Supergirl meets her halfway.

 

/

 

“It was–was like a _fantasy,_ Kara,” Lena says dreamily. She’s sitting across the table from Kara at one of their bi-weekly lunches. “She was such a good kisser.”

 

Kara, for some reason, has turned pink. “Lena,” she says, stuttering but face unreadable, tone as if she’s trying to hint at something, “aren’t you worried you can’t be a real couple?”

 

Lena frowns. “Do you think she has a secret identity? I would think so, but I don’t want to pry.”

 

Kara squeaks and turns around. Lena’s certain that Kara’s blushing and Lena has to steel herself to remind herself that she has to sort out her relationship with Supergirl before she even considers starting something with Kara. “Look there’s our waiter Lena look the food looks so good,” Kara is saying in a rush and Lena has to admire her.

 

“I know!” says Lena excitedly. “My apologies for taking you to a vegan place, but in my defense, they have excellent reviews.”

 

Kara sighs, clearly happy about the conversation change, which Lena has to wonder about. She’s _straight_ , Lena reminds herself as the waiter sets down her salad. _And_ Lena kissed Supergirl last night.

 

“Lena,” stage-whispers Kara, “which fork do I use?”

 

Lena has to laugh at that and points out the one on the outside. “You go from outside-in,” she says, remembering her own lessons on being polite with her mother. Kara shakes her head.

 

“I just don’t understand,” says Kara. “Where I’m from–” she pauses, face scrunching up, “Uh, I mean, I guess where I’m from is my family, and they just aren’t, uh, this fancy. The Danvers really don’t do dinners like these.”

 

“What about Alex?”

 

“Alex? I guess she takes Maggie to these occasionally.”

 

“No, I mean, Alex seems to have a lot of class.”

 

Kara snorts. “Lena, we have potsticker-eating competitions.”

 

Lena laughs. “I don’t want to hear about it,” she says, putting her hands up.

 

/

 

Supergirl doesn’t come for another week.

 

When she does come, it’s silently, so that she surprises Lena by tapping her shoulder–Lena’s been dozing on her desk–and Lena jumps. “Oh!” says Lena, suddenly warmer, “It’s you.”

 

“It’s just me,” says Supergirl, smiling. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy.”

 

“Fighting crime doesn’t really have set hours,” responds Lena with a smile, “it’s fine. I’m glad you did manage to stop by.”

 

Supergirl sighs and wipes her palms on her latex skirt. “About the kiss, Lena–”

 

Lena shakes her head to stop Supergirl.

 

“I meant it,” Lena says. “I’m fully aware we can’t have a normal relationship. I know it will have to be secret. Even if I can’t go out in public with you, Supergirl, please. Unless–” the thought comes to her suddenly, frighteningly, “–unless you didn’t mean it.”

 

“I did, I did,” Supergirl says, brushing back her hair nervously. “I just wanted to let you know it’ll be complicated, but I’m willing–”

  
Lena’s heart is beating so loudly and violently she can’t hear, because it doesn’t matter what Supergirl says now, she’s _Lena’s_ and the prospect of that is enough to make Lena dizzy. She reaches out to pull Supergirl close and even though she knows Supergirl is stronger than she is, by so far a margin it’s unimaginable, Supergirl lets herself be pulled into Lena’s embrace.

  
Lena smiles and runs a hand through Supergirl’s perfectly windswept hair. “We’ll make this work, then,” she whispers, bringing her lips to the corner of Supergirl’s perfect mouth, “I promise,” and she feels Supergirl’s smile against her own.

 

“Okay,” whispers Supergirl back.   
  
“We can work out how another time,” says Lena, buzzing with energy. “What I want to do now, is do something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.”

 

Supergirl seems to read her mind and they kiss again, this time just as perfect as the first–if not more–and Lena finds herself smiling into it, thankful for the warmth of Supergirl’s body in her arms.

 

/

 

Kara meets Lena at her office for lunch. “You always, uh, forget to eat,” Kara says, setting down a paper bag and Lena smiles warmly at her. It’s always been blurry with Kara–best friend or something more–and part of Lena wonders if that’s normal for friendships, or Kara’s friendships, or if she’s just making things up.

 

Anyways, it’s inappropriate for her to even think about anything more with Kara now that she has someone else, so she opens the bag and thanks Kara and pushes all other thoughts and feelings besides gratitude away.

 

“How are you doing?” Lena asks, pulling out street tacos that Kara loves. She sets three aside for herself, and double that for Kara onto plates she now keeps in her office just for these visits.

 

“I’m okay,” says Kara, smiling. She seems to be glowing with energy.

 

“You know,” says Lena, “Supergirl came last night.”  
  
“Did she?” Kara says, looking suspiciously like she already knows. Maybe it’s Lena’s expression or mannerisms; Lena feels like she’s been floating ever since Supergirl left. Kara’s always been so good at reading Lena.

 

“Yes. We kissed again,” says Lena, sighing, “and we talked a bit, too. We’ve sorted everything out, or enough so–this really is like living in a daydream, you know.”

 

It’s a little bit of a lie; in Lena’s daydreams, Kara is Supergirl and Supergirl is Kara. She’s been trying to convince herself they’re the same person, but she knows they’re not. Besides, Kara is human.

 

She then notices Kara’s expression. She doesn’t understand it, but it seems a bit bored, so she adds, “But Kara, I hate to bother you with all this talk about my escapades, what about you?”

 

Kara shakes her head. “I’m your best friend, Lena! This is _important!_ Spill!”

 

So Lena does, doing her best to ignore Kara’s deepening blush as she details her kiss(es) with Supergirl and sighs. “I want to take her out on a date, Kara, but I don’t know how; she’s a public figure. You know how the public reacts when their heroes have a trace of humanity.”

 

Kara nods like she does. Lena knows Kara has been following Supergirl and her audience since day one; after all, she’s a reporter. “I don’t know,” Kara says truthfully. “Do you think you’ll be upset with her if she doesn’t want to tell you her secret identity?”

  
Lena mulls this over. She knows what she’s supposed to say.

 

After a pause, she says, “I don’t know.”

 

She wonders if she’d be angry or happy if Supergirl truly _was_ Kara.

 

/

 

It continues like this for a couple weeks, which blend into months. Supergirl comes sporadically to Lena’s office and they kiss, and talk, and kiss, and Supergirl tells her about her life on Earth (which she suspiciously never discloses significant details about) and her life on Krypton; Lena tells her about her family and her own personal life.

 

Sometimes, she feels like Kara knows every detail that Lena tells her about her visits with Supergirl before she even tells them. Kara blushes less, though, when Lena divulges the details as time goes on, and Lena wonders if she was just making things up.

  
She’s happy, yes, but she wonders if she really does mean the same to Supergirl as Supergirl means to her. She’s never brought up Supergirl’s identity; she’s afraid to, afraid of the response.

 

Her conversation with Kara echoes in her head. She doesn’t know if she’d be angry with Supergirl, or delighted. She wants to meet Supergirl’s friends, her family–she wants to be her _girlfriend,_ but she does her best to be happy with what she has.

 

She is, after all, happy.

 

She tells all this to Kara, quiet and sad and frustrated with herself for not being appreciative of her girlfriend and Kara frowns. “I just wish I could be a better girlfriend,” says Lena, sighing.

 

Kara shakes her head. “Lena, no one’s perfect. I’m sure Supergirl is just as frustrated as you are, but I bet it’s hard for Supergirl to give anything more.”

 

“I know,” says Lena, though it feels different. Supergirl’s the one withholding information. “Thank you, Kara,” she says, suddenly. “I feel as if we never talk about you anymore.”

 

Kara shrugs. “My life is the same as it left off without Mon El.”  
  
“Do you miss him?”

 

Kara frowns. “I don’t know–I mean, no, I just–I feel relieved, for some reason, that he’s gone. I get to have more time with you, with Alex.”

 

Lena smiles. “In a way, I’m thankful for our time together too, even if I’m sorry about your loss.”

  
Kara blushes, like she knows something more than Lena does, and Lena, for the umpteenth time over the course of a couple months, wonders if she’s missing something she should be catching.

 

/

 

“I want to take you flying.”  
  
Lena startles, then focuses on Supergirl. From this distance, she really does look like Kara–same stance, same awkward smile, but as she gets closer, Lena spots the difference in their mannerisms.

  
It always feels like Kara is hiding; Supergirl is unapologetically _present._

 

“What?” she says, unsure if she heard correctly.

 

“I want to take you flying,” Supergirl repeats. “I know I’ve caught you in the air before, but it’s different this way. It’s–freeing.”

 

Lena pauses. “I trust you,” she says. “Okay.”

 

Before she knows it, Supergirl has crossed the room and picked her up. She places a kiss on Lena’s forehead, steps out onto the balcony, and jumps over it. Lena squeezes her eyes shut at the sensation of falling, until the air seems to be going the other way and she opens her eyes to watch the city–and the L Corp building–get smaller and smaller.

 

“Wow,” she shouts over the wind, as Supergirl begins to fly what she thinks is southward. Supergirl’s hair billows behind her and Lena watches a peaceful expression flutter over her face, one that makes Supergirl barely recognizable. She wonders whether the view below, of the passing Earth underneath them, or Supergirl, happy to be flying and holding Lena, is more beautiful.

 

Supergirl opens her eyes to notice Lena staring. “What’re you looking at?” she shouts, smiling goofily.

 

“You!” responds Lena equally loudly. “Where are we going?”  
  
“It’s a surprise!” says Supergirl. Lena knows they’re going slowly for Supergirl, and lower, too, so she can breathe. Eventually, the arrive at the tallest part of the city; the part that glows the brightest and Lena frowns.

  
“Why didn’t we walk?” she says normally, since the wind has stopped as they stopped moving.

 

“This is more fun,” says Supergirl, leaning in to kiss Lena.

 

Lena can’t deny how exhilarating it is, to kiss Supergirl out in public, dangling over ninety stories in the air. She loves the look on Supergirl’s face, that of complete and utter calm, of happiness. She loves the feeling of the cool midnight air again her skin, and the warmth from Supergirl’s body.

 

“We have to do this again,” says Lena between kisses, and Supergirl dips her into in the sky, above the city lights. It’s almost a shame they can’t see the stars.

 

“Or,” says Supergirl, “We can keep doing this now.”

 

Lena isn’t sure what Supergirl means until she sees Supergirl’s brilliant blue eyes flash excitedly and she pulls Lena–quickly–away from the scene. She can only hear or see wind for a couple seconds, until she finds herself in the middle of a quiet desert. She admires the sand beneath them, and the few cacti, then looks at Supergirl.

 

Lena can’t even hear crickets; just Supergirl’s light breathing. “Look up,” says Supergirl softly, kissing the top of Lena’s head.

 

“Oh,” says Lena, suddenly noticing the view of the stars above them. They’re bright here, especially because it’s a new moon. The whole sky is just spotted with bright lights.

 

“I think I saw a shooting star just over there,” says Supergirl, pointing to their left. Lena squints.

 

“I missed it,” she says, marvelling at how Supergirl can hold her with one arm. She’s always been a little afraid of heights, but she can’t bring herself to be afraid now. “If you look,” Lena says breathlessly, still looking in the same direction, “You can see a strip of the milky way.”

 

Supergirl nods enthusiastically–almost like Kara would. “The milky way is beautiful,” says Supergirl, “From on Earth and from afar.”

 

“Could you see it from Krypton?”

 

“With a telescope-like device,” Supergirl responds, smiling dreamily at the stars. “It was always my favorite galaxy. This view is my favorite.”

 

Lena finds her gaze settle on Supergirl, cape and hair rippling slightly, when she says, “Mine, too.”

 

Lena pulls Supergirl’s face so that it faces hers and brings Supergirl’s lips to her own. Supergirl is still smiling against them, and Lena can’t help but smile as well. “Thank you,” says Lena into the kiss. “This is so beautiful. I can’t thank you enough.”

 

“I’d do anything for you, you know,” says Supergirl quietly, and Lena is almost unsure she actually heard it, until she sees Supergirl’s worried expression as she scans Lena’s face, and Lena smiles wider than she thought possible.

 

“Supergirl,” says Lena softly, “you know I love you.”

 

Supergirl blinks, surprised, and Lena suddenly wonders if she’s said the wrong thing, judging by the shock on Supergirl’s face. Then, Supergirl’s face melts into one of happiness once more and she kisses Lena, firmly.

 

“I love you, too.”

 

/

 

When Lena tells Kara the next morning, Kara nearly breaks her mug. She isn’t sure how–Kara says she dropped it, but Lena was certain that Kara had been gripping it tight enough to strangle someone.

 

“I’m in love with Supergirl,” says Lena, putting her head onto the table. “God, and I don’t even know who she really is, and I don’t care. I know it’s foolish of me, but I don’t love her secret identity, I love Supergirl.”

 

Kara’s mug does shatter this time. “Oh my god, I’m sorry,” she says, leaning over to pick up the pieces. Lena swears that Kara didn’t drop it again, but shrugs it off. “I’m ruining your moment, Lena, I just–wow, are you sure you don’t want to know?”

 

“If Supergirl isn’t ready to tell me, it’s okay,” says Lena. “We all have secrets, don’t you think?”

 

Kara turns bright red and starts to stutter. Lena wonders what Kara is hiding from her, but doesn’t pry; she has her own secrets. At the very least, she doesn’t think much about kissing Kara the way she used to, in part because she’s certain Kara doesn’t kiss the way Supergirl does.

 

When Kara does act like this, cute and shy, Lena does think about it, briefly, but she thinks of Supergirl and she knows she’s made her choice. She’s happy with her choice.

 

“I mean,” says Lena, sighing, “I don’t know if I want to know her secret identity. Do you remember that conversation we had once?”

 

Kara nods.

 

“I’m still uncertain if I’d be angry with her, and I don’t want to be angry with her.”

 

Kara nods once more. “I just wish you two were able to have a normal relationship beyond what you have–you really do deserve more than this, Lena.”

 

“I don’t know,” says Lena softly, turning to look out at National City stretching below them, “I’m so happy with Supergirl, I can’t be bothered to care about her secret identity.”

 

She swears she hears another crash of glass, but when she’s turned around, there’s nothing there, except Kara smiling sheepishly. “Oh Kara,” she says, clapping, “Enough about me. I’m sure you’re sick of everyone you know being in a relationship.”

 

Kara shrugs. “Somehow I don’t mind. I mean, James and Winn–”

 

“Are practically dating,” Lena reminds her, and Kara sighs.

 

“You’re right, you’re right,” she says.

 

/

 

“I’m surprised we’ve never spoken about my identity beyond being a superhero,” Supergirl says one day, lounging on Lena’s office couch.

 

Lena shrugs. “I’m happy if you’re happy,” she says. “I’m making this work.”

 

“Are you actually happy?” asks Supergirl, looking carefully at Lena. “Are you satisfied with dating local superhero, with the knowledge that I’m not–I’m not the perfect hero that every news outlet has made me out to be?”  
  
“Please,” says Lena, “do recall your earlier interactions with the media. Or the time even Cat Grant called you dangerous.” She doesn’t add, _you’re still perfect to me._

 

Supergirl gives her a sheepish smile and shrugs. “All I’m saying is, don’t you want to know my friends and family?”

 

Lena steps closer, curious. “Do you want me to know your friends and family?”

 

“I don’t want you to be sad–or angry,” says Supergirl.

 

“I’m not,” says Lena firmly.

  
“Promise?”

 

“Promise.”

 

Lena swears disappointment flickers over Supergirl’s face.

 

/

 

Lena’s talking about Supergirl again when Kara gets a phone call from a blocked number. Lena’s known for weeks about Alex as part of the DEO, and so she immediately assumes it’s Alex, but when Kara’s face morphs into horror she begins to wonder what’s really happening.

 

“Kara?” she asks delicately, trying not to pry.

 

Kara’s face has gone red, but in the bad kind of way, like she’s trying not to cry. She’s nodding, like the person over the phone can hear her. “Okay,” she whispers after a pause, then nods again.

 

“Is it Alex?” Lena asks, before she can stop herself, but Kara just holds up a hand and takes in a steady breath.

 

“Thank you, director please–um, please let me know if you find her. Are you sure–are you sure there’s nothing–” She pauses again to catch her breath again and Lena’s brow furrows. “Okay, thank you.”

 

“Is it Alex?” Lena asks again, and Kara nods.

 

“She’s missing,” Kara says, and as Lena tries to hug her, Kara untangles herself. “I, um, have to go–I have to–”

 

“Kara,” Lena calls, “Kara, you can’t do–” but Kara’s already out the door, trying not to cry. “Kara, fuck,” she says, fumbling for her phone and wondering if Supergirl will just show up, why doesn’t she even have Supergirl’s number, or a way to contact her–

 

The full force of her incapability to help Kara in this moment hits her as she packs up her things to follow Kara back to her apartment. There has to be some way to comfort Kara, Lena thinks, some way to help her–

 

Just as she’s pulling out of the basement of the L Corp building, she notices a familiar figure in red and blue circling overhead. She wants to wave to Supergirl, but she knows there’s no way she’ll see her.

 

“Please, Kara–” she says, starting up her car. No one deserves to be alone when their sibling goes missing; Lena knows this firsthand.

 

 _“Hello, this is Kara Danvers! Sorry I wasn’t able to pick up, I’ll get to you as soon as possible!”_ Lena’s phone says, shortly accompanied by a higher, toneless, _“Please leave a message after the beep.”_

 

“Kara,” says Lena after the beep, “Is everything okay? Can I get you anything?” She snaps her phone shut and bangs her forehead against her steering wheel.

 

She’s suddenly angry with herself with for being useless; her girlfriend is a superhero and she can’t even help her best friend. She’s angry with herself for not caring about contacting Supergirl, with trusting Supergirl will come back.

 

In that moment, she wonders if Supergirl will ever be there when she actually needs her, or if whatever they were was really just one-sided. Lena was, after all, always there after a bad fight, after Supergirl had a nightmare.

 

Supergirl isn’t there for Lena when Lena doesn’t know what to do.

 

She wonders, for a second, if she hasn’t been paying enough attention to Kara, to her smile, to the way she adjusts her glasses whenever she lies. She wonders if she’s been a bad friend in favor of a girlfriend that isn’t around when she needs her to be.

  
When she reaches Kara’s apartment, no one answers, and Lena wonders if she was ever actually as important to Kara as Kara was to her. She wonders if she was ever as important to Supergirl as Supergirl was to her.

  
It’s a new kind of loneliness, one Lena hasn’t felt before, and it’s the unfamiliarity of it that makes it hurt so much more. Maybe she isn’t as special as she thought she was under the stars and above the desert.

 

“Kara,” she whispers, sliding down the wooden door to Kara’s apartment. “Kara, Kara, Kara.”

 

She wonders if it’s only the excitement of dating an alien that attracted her to Supergirl when the girl in front of her was Kara the entire time, but she remembers how Supergirl understands her scientific jargon, how Supergirl encourages her projects, and she knows that that isn’t true.  
  
She doesn’t understand why some part of her, some small part of her, is screaming at her for not dating Kara, then.

 

Not that it matters now, now that Kara’s disappeared and Lena doesn’t know where she’s gone. She pulls out her phone to call Winn and waits.

 

He picks up on the second ring. “Kara’s fine,” he says, “She came down to the DEO.” It’s as if he already knew the question.

 

Lena sighs in relief. “Am I a bad friend, Winn?” she asks before she can stop herself.

 

She can feel his frown over the phone. “Lena, you’re a great friend–just–sometimes people need time alone. Including the most extroverted person we know, Kara. When Alex turns up, everything will be okay again.”

 

Lena sighs. “Okay,” she says. “Tell Kara to call me.”  
  
“And Supergirl?” asks Winn knowingly.

 

“Tell her I need some space.”

 

/

 

Kara calls her an hour later. “Lena,” she says, sighing. “We need to talk.”

 

/

 

Kara promises to come over as soon as she can, but it’s Supergirl who lands on Lena’s balcony. When she tries to open the glass door, however, she finds it’s locked. As Lena looks up to make eye contact with Supergirl, Supergirl frowns at her.

 

“Sorry,” says Lena, not really sorry, unlocking the door and letting Supergirl in.

  
“Look,” says Supergirl, letting out a breath, “I know you’re angry with me, but Lena, you were the one who said you were okay with this–with just trusting me.”

 

“I know,” says Lena. “I made a mistake.”

 

“But–” Supergirl sighs, “I haven’t been exactly fair to you, either. I’ve been really selfish with you and you don’t even know how. When, um, Alex disappeared today, it reminded me how lonely this secret identity thing is for me, because I can’t even let you know–I can’t even properly talk about it without revealing myself.”

 

Lena tilts her head in confusion–was she trying to say she was Kara?

 

“I mean–I’m just–I’m just so happy as Supergirl and being separate from that, being myself and helping people and not having to hide, but you’re my best friend and my girlfriend and I–I was hiding from you, too.”

 

Lena frowns.

 

“I’m sorry, Lena,” says Supergirl, holding out a pair of glasses–Kara’s glasses–in her hand. “You can put them on me, if you want.”

 

“Super–”

 

“Kara,” says Supergirl–Kara–firmly. “It’s my alien name, too. Kara Zor-El.”

 

“Not Kara Danvers, huh?” says Lena, starting to laugh, reaching out to place the glasses crookedly on Kara’s face. “Oh, Kara, I could have sworn–and the scar, that’s what confused me–you have the same scar.”

 

“I got it on Krypton,” Kara says, laughing, “when I was younger. Not on Earth.”

 

“Did they find Alex?”

 

“Yes.” A pause. “Lena, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I didn’t want you to be angry–”

 

“Were you jealous?” Lena asks, still laughing. “Jealous of yourself?”  


Kara shrugs sheepishly. “I don’t know how you didn’t figure it out.”

 

Lena sighs, here, and sets down a mug of tea. “You’re so unapologetic, so present as Supergirl. You’re confident and happy, but also–I don’t know, a little sadder, as well. More of yourself. Kara Danvers–you don’t see any of that in Kara Danvers.”

 

“But you’re okay with dating Kara Danvers as well as Kara Zor-El,” says Kara, though it comes out more as a question.

  
“Yes,” Lena says firmly, “Because Kara Danvers won’t be hiding anything with me.”

 

Kara smiles. “So it’s settled?”

 

“Maybe,” Lena says. “Only if you take me back to the desert.”

 

Kara pulls Lena closer instead, laughing. “Only if you want to go back.”

 

“Kara Zor-El, you know I’m in love with you.”

 

“With all of me?”

 

“I think so,” Lena says honestly. She’s still confused by Kara’s glasses and her Supergirl outfit, but the little part of her that’s been in love with Kara Danvers the whole time isn’t twinging in guilt when she pulls Kara closer to kiss her.

 

Kara does kiss a little different than Supergirl; just as intense, but full of something else, too. Relief, maybe.

 

All Lena knows, is that this is the best kiss yet.

**Author's Note:**

> title from supercut (listen to melodrama yall) & im @nooreva on tumblr come talk to me abt supercorp!!


End file.
